Designers diary

For our course we  write a reflective journal, which illustrates how our design has been influences by our surroundings and what insights we gain throughout our projects. I write those on a weekly basis, normally over the weekend, as I like looking back at the week and reflecting on what I have done. Therefore they are normally quite calm and descriptive documents. I have just read through this weeks entry and think that is different to the others. It feels much closer to home, much more personal. Which I think is quite a reflcetion in itself. The tension I feel now as such an important and personal project comes to an end, makes me so much more emotional – which does not really help :-) Well, I thought I share my thoughts of this week with you -if only to make you more curious about the upcoming show and exhibition: 22/05/13 – save the date and get your ticket here.
See you there and stay curious!

Week 28 06/05 – 12/05/13

This week had their ups and downs. As the fashion show and the day of the exhibition draw nearer, things get more tense and I find it more harder to cope with the pressure. What upsets me the most is that everything is in bits and pieces and nothing seems to be finished – and the remaining time does not seem to be sufficient to get everything done.

I will try to work more focused now that I have developed everything and only need to make the items for the exhibitions one by one. Even though I normally like to work on different things at one time as I find it hard to concentrate over longer periods of time, I will for the next week try to finish things off one after the other.

I planned to have all outfits knitted and made up this week, which did not happen, as the washing machine ruined the fabrics I wanted to use for the jacket and a couple of samples. They all felted differently, so that they could not be used in one garment alone. Others felted too much, so that they had lost all their appeal. Mid-week I found that really de-motivating and I hope I will be able to redo those in time. If worst comes to worst, I could do without this garment, but I really like it, as it is colourful and motivating.

I am currently transcribing the interview I had with Prof. Twigg in Canterbury, which takes much more time as I thought it would. But it is interesting to review, as I want to take excerpts from I to play at the exhibition. In this conversation a lot of quite academic research is presented in a way that is nice to follow. But I find it quite unnerving to listen to my own voice – and my accent.

I have finally found a couple of solutions on how to design the interactive gadgets which will be attached to the sleeves of the garments, which in contrast to the other tasks of this week has been quite motivating. I know now exactly how to make them in a way that is appealing as well as practical and uses only materials I am also using in other parts of the collection. I think I got carried away at times in this collection, focusing too much on the development of garments, when I should have worked on those. I feel that here I can work more to my strength, when finding innovative solutions by experimenting with materials and using traditional techniques in a new way. The development of those has been the part of the week that I really enjoyed and I am looking forward to make them next week.

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Final Spurt – lets get knitting!

There is a special atmosphere in university right now – the pre-fashion show excitment. It is a strange mix of panic, adrenalin, tiredness and absolute chaos – not comparable to anything I have come across so far. I hear a massive sigh going through our workspace studio when writing this, but it is only two more weeks until our degree fashion show.
So, get your tickets now at our university shop!

While you do that, we will engage in some last minute knitting, making all the magic happen! Here is a sneak preview of the things I am working on right now:

Looking forward to see in Nottingham! Stay curious!

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Drawing up an introduction

This week I have been on a road trip to Canterbury. This is actually the first time I ventured out of Nottingham in 2013 – which just shows how concentrated I have been working on my final collection. At the University of Kent I met Prof. Julia Twigg, who had been so kind to invite me to discuss my work with her. Even though she is a Professor of Sociology we had plenty to talk about as part of her research project deals with Clothing and Dementia – find some info on her research and publications here.

Walking through this foreign campus, I felt quite starstruck when meeting her, as her work has shaped my project considerably. When reading an article in an academic journal – especially when its well written – it is quite easy to forget that someone has actually brooded over it to make it happen. Having made my first steps into this direction I fully appreciate all the effort that goes into writing!

I had a sketchbook with me that will form part of the exhibtion with which I will present my collection end of this month and during the long train journey back I spend some time reading and sketchbooking, thinking how much design work differs from other academic work – and to what extend it doesn’t.

Apart from the odd one out, design students work very hard, I believe often more than other students. This has partly to do with motivation – for us, most of what we do is not work, but it is just part of our life – something we feel we have to do. But when there is a deadline coming up and the nights get shorter and shorter even drawing, sketching, knitting and crochet becomes more work and less self-expression…

But it is also due to the fact that designers need to present their work in a different way than others. We do a fair amount of research for each project, which does not become less important, even though most of it is visual. If it is true that an image says more than 1000 words, it might even be more complicated as we need to find the one image that says it all – and there is a lot of images, that say nearly  what you want, but not the right thing…

When the research is done, we do our thing, but then we need to express and explain, making portfolio pages and filling sketchbooks – which do not only have to communicate what we have been looking at and how we responded to it, but also have to look artistic and interesting. When I have been in the train I thought that this process is quite like writing. You need to find a layout, that gets people in the right mood – just like writing an introduction. Once this is done, you need to illustrate everything clear and concise – shuffling around key words and drawings until they are exactly where they need to be – just like sweating over a sentence over and over until every word is perfect. In the end everything needs to be polished over, until everything fits together, sits at the right place – just like editing a text, paragraph by paragraph.

I think often this part of design is overlooked as the consumer only sees the finished piece and not all the work that might be done around it. I think only few products, garments or ideas come into being by a genius spark, most are generated by research and development.

I think what I really want to say here is: Design work is academic – research, development and evaluation – even though it looks good. And like a well-written article you know its right, when you cannot see all the hard work behind it…

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The maths of creativity

In second year we had a session in which I nearly quit the course: painting to music. With watercolour. And rainbows… I am not sure if I ever felt this out of place as in that session.

I often think that creativity is considered something magical, a moment of genius or a godly spark – and to some extend it is. But after the spark comes all the hard work – getting details right, trying out things and making decisions. And there seems to be one proper way of doing this: getting out pens, paintbrushes or the odd watercolour and start mark-making.

I have tried that. I have even tried painting rainbows to music. But for me creativity just does not work this way. I am always annoyed by this moment of randomness in the work, the feeling that things would have gone entierly different if I had just drawn this line in another colour, or used less water, or tried another medium… All those choices just leave me unsatisfied.

I design in lists. That is definetively less sexy than covering myself in paint and rolling over the canvas, but it works for me. I try to find nice combinations of numbers and translate them into rows and stitches. Working on various outfits at one time, I have plenty of those in a pile, working from and with them.

But this is not a sterile process. Numbers are messy. They can be as chaotic as water-colour. If one is not careful the numbers take over and create their own rules and build up – or even multiply, haha :-)

But I have to admit that I sometimes think I do it the wrong way. Nerdiness and creativity are not considered compatible. But I am not sure if it makes much difference if you write lines of code, paint or build up textiles -in the end it all comes back to make connections not there before – and getting the numbers right.

Check out the Hyperbolic Crochet Coral Reef, which illustrates wonderfully that numbers are very much alive and can be part of something very organic – far away from well-ordered columms. But be careful, you might learn something – what hyperbolic means for example. This is what I got out of it :-) So, stay curious!

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Ever lost a magnet?

I find myself quite surprised about the problems I find myself in since I started studying a design course. Today I have managed to loose a magnet – in a skirt…

I thought myself quite clever using magnets to avoid fiddely fasteners. And it works quite nicely. But I have had so many troubles with that. I forgot that it attracts the needle for example – so I have broken 1 sewing needle and 1 machine needle. And you would not believe how hard it is to cut a thread, when the scissors get distracted all the time. And now I have lost one inside the skirt – cannot find it for the life of me… So, any tipps on how you find magnets? I stay curious :-)

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There, there, love, we will help you…

Today I turned into a feminist hulk! I am not really sure how this would look like – I imagine it strangely pink and with massively padded shoulders – but I think you get the drift about how I feel. I saw in the news that the women’s quota is discussed again.

How well-meant – how patronising!

To me, this says: “You do not get a job on your own, there, there, love, let me help you find your way into a mens world”. Women will be pushed into positions they don’t want to have, just to fulfill the quota, while being accused of only getting a her position because of the quota – how can that be a good thing?!?

You know what, if things get me angry like this, I might have to get into politics – and who would want that :-) After all, it would only be another woman, out of place … and maybe with padded shoulders :-)

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Darling, we need to talk…

Having complained in my last post that I don’t want to share my work, I now have to take it all back. I might even argue the converse. Yesterday I had the excellent opportunity to speak at a conference  organised by tutors at my university. At the “Visual & Material Delights Symposium” I presented some findings of the research for my dissertation to staff and other students.

Two years ago this time I went to the conference in the audience and thought to myself: Which idiot would step up and hold a talk in front of an audience – voluntarily!?!
In the meantime, I have become that idiot. I have become so passionate about my work and my research, that I want to share it with as many people as possible. Because the topics I have chosen are not very much researched, I feel that I am one of the few possible at this stage to do so. So, I have to stop hiding away and step up and get out.

Which is what I hope to do more often now. I have really enjoyed these talks – I enjoyed reaching out to people and getting feedback instantly. And I enjoyed getting laughs at the right places :-) not enough to trash everything and go for a career in stand-up, but enough to make me feel good.

It is interesting how often you find the question to others people motivation by trying out something yourself. The urge to communicate and to interact can have many faces, one of which is talking. Even though it might be the most obvious, it is one I have just recently discovered. It gave me the same feeling of empowerment as my sticker project had. Even though I have always admired and enjoyed sticker art, I have often wondered why people went through all this trouble, without any instanly recognizable reward. But printing my stickers felt like a communication with protestors in the past to me – a feeling of connection, of stepping into someone elses foot steps. And seeing them up there is like a form of communication with passersby, trying to get their attention, hoping to get them interested and thinking. I have even started a fight – at least this is what it feels to me, as someone has removed one of my stickers.

Please have a look at this short but enjoyable TED talk about an Egyptian street artist, who says “No” in many interesting ways – and the ‘communications’ that arose from those: Bahia Shehab – 1000 times no

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Two travelling daffodils

Two ambitious daffodils, which blossomed much more eagerly than the others from the bunch that now graces our kitchen table, had a really exciting journey yesterday. They made their way to uni and around campus to be photographed on a window sill, flooded with sun. The images will be used for our look book which will accompany our exhibition and fashion show on the 22nd of May.

I created lovely still lifes, featuring vintage china, old family photographies and obviously my garments – not as ready as I wanted them to be, but still gorgeous :-)

This marks the beginning of the phase that I dread the most: having to share my work with others. Until now I got away with doddeling along, trying out things and making do. But now, I will have to explain, to talk about and even worse: to show.

But now the daffodils have made their appearance, I should get started too :-) So, stay curious!

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How old is old?

It has been my birthday lately and I am now 2 16-year-olds. Or 4 8-year-olds. Or 8 4-year-olds. Well, you get the drift. Last week I found myself listening to my course mates – all 10 years younger – having no idea who the popstar was they were talking about, trying to ignore my back pain, while shoving a used handkerchief into my sleeve – boy, did I feel old :-)

But I enjoy growing older. If you have a look at the image at the right, it becomes clear immediately why – yes, that’s me and those are the 80s. Those cycling shorts were the latest thing and that brick around my neck is actually a camera :-)

Now that I have started researching requirements of elderly people regarding dressing, I have found out one interesting thing: people never feel old. There seems to be no age, after which one feels old; no initiation rite after which one is part of the “old” community. Even though the body might start to show signs of aging, inside aging does not take part. People say that they can feel the body aging; knees, eyes, hair disappearing and re-appearing at different places; but inside, one stays the same. If you ask me, I have stopped aging at 19, this is the age that comes into my mind, when I think of my age.

Age is a label attached from the outside. Or – in case of the fashion industry – age is a label to be avoided. Few companies aim their clothes at “mature” bodies, but if they do, they give their best not to let it show. Pick up a catalogue, any catalogue and you will find either young models or those carefully cut-out clothes, which are always a bit creepy. Even though the lenght people go to avoid showing elderly people in a fashionable context is quite funny, it is also a serious matter. Being avoided, not seeing any role models in the current media, might lead to a feeling of neglect or not being important anymore. And it leads to the conclusion that clothes don’t matter anymore when one gets older, which I think is terribly wrong. The way to dress changes quite drastically, not only due to changes in fashion, but also because one finds one own style; garments that flatter and that just feel good. I feel more “me” in the clothes I wear today than I felt ever before and I am pretty sure that that is not going to change in the next years. And the image proves that things can not get any worse, but there is only hope of improvement :-)

Have a look at Advanced style, a blog that collects images of incredibly well-dressed people – who just happen to be older than the average model. And I am sure that none of them will consider themselves old!

Once you have managed to stop looking at those great images, go over to youtube and check out this video, and see for yourself how old you feel today… the 16 year-old is still there – but hopefully better dressed today!

BTW: I met someone who did not know Nirvana – at all! That made me very sad. What do they teach those kids in school today? :-)

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To knit or not to knit – observations on choice

I have this sample of tension squares on my window sill since weeks. I keep on looking at it not only because I like the variety of structures, but also because it reminds me of a project I considered for my final degree project. This might be the last project for which I am going to be the sole responsible and as such it is highly important to me. Deciding what to do has taken weeks, if not months of my time and every week something else seemed to be the most important thing in my life.

I feel I have been lucky to have had the choice, and to look into so many interesting topics. But that also makes the choice so daunting. Have I on the way rejected projects that might have been more beneficial or more interesting? Have there been aspects I did not look into, that might have lead my work into a more relevant direction? And how will I ever find out?

The design process is only partly inspirational spark and creative chaos – it is also a constant thread of choices. Choices about research, about materials, about methods. Sometimes, it feels so overwhelming that the process of taking a decisions paralyses the work and everything comes to a halt.

Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely not against choices. I am very thankful to study such a free subject, to be able to live in a time and place where I can choose my own path without male supression, to be able to live in a country where I can choose my own career and moan about it online without censorship.

But still, sometimes it just feels too much. If one is ‘spoilt for choice’ it is quite often very hard not to be carried away and just get on with it.The grass is always greener on the other side and new exciting projects are lying around just on my windowsill…

Have a look at this great TEDtalk from Barry Schwartz about the paradox of choice. He explains so much better, the problem I am pondering here and will make you look around differently when you visit your supermarket next time.

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